PIC | my phase line green | KLE

For copyright purposes; I’ll go ahead and give credit to Nicholas Warr for his book, Phase Line Green.  Just in case I get in trouble later for using his title as a blog post.  Not that this post has anything to do with the book; however, it is a good book!

As you can see from my post’s title; phase line green is IN a pickle.  If you don’t know what a phase line is; it’s a term the military uses to distinguish an imaginary line on a map/terrain to coordinate phases of an operation(s).  An enemy threat level is sometimes associated with phase lines, as well.  And of course, “in a pickle” means to be stuck in a hard place or dilemma, as to not know the outcome.  My main thought process in all of this…a green pickle!

Well, readers…my “phase line green” is in a pickle.  I’m in a dilemma and not sure what to do.  For those of you who know me or read my bio, you know that I’m a 1stLt and an Infantry Student Officer in the Marine Corps.  For those of you who didn’t know that, now you do.  However, most don’t know about the situation I’ve been in for awhile now.

Since high school, I have wanted to be a Marine and most of all, an infantry Marine.  I graduated high school with awards from the Marine Corps, went to college on a Marine scholarship, and outperformed most in my ROTC unit in leadership, physicality, and mentality.  I made sure that I was better than my best.  I graduated Officer Candidate School (OCS), came back to college and was asked to be the Battalion Executive Officer, but declined because I decided to graduate college early in December 2008; just so I could go on to graduate officer training or The Basic School (TBS) and get out to my Marines as soon as I could.  I did have to wait a period of 4 months before attending TBS, but I made use of my time, and at the end was awarded the NAM (Navy/Marine Corps Achievement Medal) for my hard work and dedication to my PTAD (Permissive Temporary Active Duty) unit.

I attended TBS and received my first MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) choice…INFANTRY OFFICER!  Most don’t know, but we have to rank all 24 officer MOS’s in what we would most and least prefer as a job.  Well, most don’t get their top choices.  It’s all based on class standing and aptitude.  However, I got mine.  We had just completed our 15 mile hump when we found out our MOS’s.  I was so ecstatic…my feet didn’t hurt anymore!  My class BOC 4-09 (Basic Officer Course, April 2009) graduated 5 November.

After TBS, our class had to wait two months before picking up with the next IOC (Infantry Officer Course) class, IOC 2-10.  In the meantime, we PT’d (Physically Trained) and worked on PME (Professional Military Education).  A select few were able to attend the MACE (Martial Arts Center of Excellence) Green Belt Instructor Course.  I was among one of those few.  The MACE is the MCMAP (Marine Corps Martial Arts Program) supervisory establishment of the Marine Corps.  Everything martial arts related is created or regulated through the MACE.  So, I went through a month of instructor training that included not only grueling martial arts, combat conditioning and PT, but many hours of classes on everything from health to the Warrior Ethos.  Not to mention I was doing all this in the winter with the ground frozen over and temperatures below 30 degrees.  However, I graduated before our Christmas leave as a Green Belt Instructor MAI (Martial Arts Instructor).  Two weeks later we would begin the hardest school in the Marine Corps, which tests every officer physically and mentally.

Our creed being, “He is best…who is trained in the severest school”

On 4 January 2010, 110 officers reported to IOC at 0530. I cannot go into detail about what IOC does or how it is run because of a pledge we take to uphold the secrecy of IOC.  Telling other Marines diminishes the training value if you know what to expect beforehand.  The Marine Corps thrives on preparing for the unknown, so we train by experiencing the unexpected and allowing others to undergo the same.

I went through 3 weeks of IOC before we conducted the CET (Combat Endurance Test).  It tests your mental aptitude and abilities under extreme physical conditions through a 12+ hour day (most know this).  Again, we were doing this during the winter when a good portion of the Northeast got like 4 feet of snow, which by then it was so cold it was just ice.  Well, the next day is when my world would turn upside down.  We had gone to the range to zero our M4s and handle other weapons.  It was when I was walking to another station when I felt and heard both my legs, “POP!”  I couldn’t walk…

Well, I don’t want to say I couldn’t walk, but it was extremely painful every step I took.  In my head, I knew I was injured, but my heart told me to keep pushing.  I didn’t want to get dropped!  I pushed myself through another week, which included the CTX (Combat Training Exercise) and classroom time.  I thought giving my legs rest during that week would give me the time I needed to recover; however, I knew by the end of that week, I had to say something.  I could barely walk and running was out of the question, which I knew the forthcoming weeks would be full of physical events.  Now, most might think I was stupid for trying to push myself, but if you had my mindset in that situation; you would have done the same thing.  I went to medical, was given an x-ray, and was told I had “possible” stress fractures in both legs.

I finally came forward at the end of the first month and had to speak with my SPC (Student Platoon Commander).  He was astonished that I had completed the CTX with stress fractures without any problems and told me that I must have had a strong will to be here!  What he didn’t know was that I masked my pain pretty well and that I DID want to be there.  He told me to take the time I needed to heal and come back when I’m ready to start fresh.

 

So, I started my recovery process in February.  However, when I said “possible” stress fractures above; that had turned into NOT having stress fractures after I had a bone scan done to confirm the stress fractures.  The bone scan had turned up negative and so they started treating me for what they thought was torn tendons in my shins.  I did rehab five days a week being treated for torn tendons.  Nevertheless, I went until the middle of March and was still having problems recovering and most of all, running.  Since, I was still having problems; the physicians gave me another x-ray and guess what?  Stress fractures had shown up!  For a month and half I had been treated for the wrong injury.

I started my rehab program for stress fractures, but in the middle of April I was still having problems running; when by now, my stress fractures should have healed up.  They told me to take some time off from rehab and give my legs some rest.  So, I started back at the beginning of May.  I felt good and it felt good to run again.  I started back slow and was just running 3 miles at a time.  I was even told that if I wanted to pick up with the next IOC class, that I had to go and run the E-Course.  The course consisting of a 5 mile run, containing obstacles all over the up and down hills of Quantico.  I probably should not have done this so soon, but I completed it and felt good.  I continued with my rehab and running and built up to running 6 miles by the middle of June.

However, two weeks before picking up with IOC in July; I was running our PFT (Physical Fitness Test) course, which is just 3 miles on hardball, down and back, over a few hills.  I made it down to the turnaround point before my left knee started hurting.  It was so painful, I had to walk back.  I had felt this kind of pain before in college from running; I thought it was my ITB (Iliotibial Band).  It was like a knife jabbing into the side of my knee.  The therapists and doctors had thought the same thing.  I was then told I would not be picking up with IOC in July with my ITB acting up.

In July, they started treating me for ITB Syndrome.  I went 2 months of therapists treating me for ITBS.  Yet, my concern was that I’ve had it before and it’s only taken a week of rest and icing to recover.  Only, it was 2 months later and I was still having problems running.  Through many doctor visits and rehab sessions, they were at a standstill on what was wrong with me.  So, they FINALLY decided to give me an MRI, which took two weeks to get.  I went to a surgical doctor in Annapolis at the Naval Academy for my analysis.  He had seen that I had torn my lateral meniscus in my left knee and said that it looked like a grenade had gone off in my knee!  He said the 3 plus months of trying to run when I shouldn’t have been caused it to tear significantly.

It wouldn’t be until 30 September 2010, before I could get surgery.  I had my surgery and was given two weeks of leave to recover and rehab.  I then did another two weeks of rehab at National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, MD.  FYI, I have not tried running again.  I returned to TBS and continued my rehab, where I would try to attempt running again.  I went on lapses of no pain, pain, no pain, pain…all through November.  I was tested by my physical therapist again because of her concern for me not being able to run, as well.  She said that my problem could be weakness in my hip, thighs, and glutes causing strain on my knee.  My therapist started treating me for those concerns.  However, my concern was that my hips, thighs, and glutes weren’t weak before because I told you of how physical I was in my prior training to get to where I am now.  However, they have been treating me ever since and I am still having problems running…ONLY running.  I can do all the strengthening and stability exercises, but every time I get on the treadmill; the pain comes back.  The same pain I had felt before I received surgery.  This time last year was when I got injured…meaning I have been at TBS close to 2 years and been injured for a year.  I’ve been here so long I even pinned on First Lieutenant back in December!

So, this is where my Phase Line Green gets in a pickle.  A phase line again being a line on a map that coordinates phases of an operation.  Well, my Phase Line Green is IOC, which is the next phase in my career.  I reached Phase Line Green, but the threat of the enemy was imminent; the enemy being my injury.  The enemy was green and mean and tore me up.  However, I will adapt and overcome and get over my injury…eventually.  Although, my predicament is whether or not I spend more time trying to heal and wait to go back to IOC, or redesignate my MOS.  The third alternative, and hopefully last, is the Marine Corps medically discharging me.

The first option is to wait and heal, get back in shape, and go back to IOC, but see; I’m already two years into my contract and don’t want to wait anymore.  There are college buddies of mine that graduated two years after me that are already in the Fleet now.  I need to get out to the Marines that need me, but I still have to be able to run.  There is also the possibility that I reinjure myself and it be worse this time around…and seeing that I’m going to have to endure the rigorous physical training again PLUS more; this could ruin my career and even life if I couldn’t walk.  The second option is to redesignate my MOS and get stuck with an MOS that I’m not happy with and regret the decision of never being an Infantry Officer like I’ve always wanted.  I do agree that a Marine is a Marine and it doesn’t matter what you do, but I still think I would look back and regret never being able to do the things I wanted to do, especially if I received a desk job.  The third option being medically discharged, which wouldn’t be my decision.  IF that happens, I’m even in more of a dilemma, as in I wouldn’t have a job and I would potentially still be injured.  What would I do for money, housing, or medical visits?!  As you can see, I’m in a pickle and don’t know what the outcome is going to be.

Part of me wants to choose another MOS and heed the quote by General Oliver Smith, USMC:

“We’re not retreating. Hell!  We’re just attacking in a different direction!”

Meaning that I won’t give up; I won’t retreat, but I’ll attack my career in a different direction with a different MOS.  Part of me wants to stick it out in IOC, but who knows how long it will take to recover and if my body will be able to hold up in that type of environment.  And I don’t even want to think about being medically discharged.  They are giving me until April before they have to make a decision on how my Marine Corps career will end up.  Consequently, you can see where I am coming from in how my Phase Line Green is in a pickle.  I’m not whining or trying to be depressing about the situation, but wanted everyone to know about it and if you have any suggestions on what I should do…because honestly, I’m at a loss!

I worked hard to be where I am today, so despite what happens; I will always be proud that I am a Marine, no matter where God takes me!